fine its all my fault
its all my fault
have it your way
it was all me
it was because of me all these bad things happened
are you happy now?

i don't know

i haven't been on this blog in a way.
maybe its cause i got a new one.
i don't know...
i feel lost. lost at sea.
just waiting for someone to rescue me.

these days i long for the cold.
something about the cold makes me feel alive.
the cold air brushing against my skin.
its almost like waking me up to reality.

i don't know who you are anymore.
we aren't what we used to be.
yet you want us to be.
sometimes i wonder do i really mean that much to you?
or are you just saying that to make me feel better
i can never tell
for every second that passes the more i dont know who you are.
do you want me to know?

you dont want me in your life

 

you dont want to be in our lives

 

but i love you both…
but but all i can do is wait

they will never understand

정은에게..

Hey Jennifer. You’re right next to me bumming out on the couch. I love you ♥ Honestly, It’s been a rough patch trying to trust you, but I’ve finally overcome it. I trust you 100%. I’ve never had a friend like you, let alone a best friend. You’re an amazing person and I’m so happy I met you and got close to you. If I ignored you, or you felt neglected or left out, I’m sorry. I don’t mean it, and I would never purposely go out of my way to hurt you. As much as I trust you, I hope you trust me. Confide in me when you need me. And honestly, I don’t sleep much anyways, so you can call me or text me anytime. If you’re in trouble, call me. If you’re stressing out, curse me out on the phone. I’m here for you baby boooo. ♥ And I learned so many things about you, I feel so close to you. You’re like this sister I never had. Right now I hacked your blog because I was going through your laptop, and I “came across” the live writer or whatever. But it’s embarrassing to say this out loud, just cause it is. So I’m gonna tell this all to you online through your own blog. You never fail to make me laugh, and whenever I have a problem or an issue, or some problematic thought, you always listen to me and you never disappoint to make me feel better. So it’s almost four in the morning, and you’re still awake at my house. I love our talks about Jaebum and 2PM and some kpop stuff and your concerns and my concerns. I love how you listen to my random boy issues, and giggle when I’m on the phone with them and I have to mute the phone to tell you to shut up. ♥ Remember, if your marriage with Jaebum doesn’t work out, I get to keep him. If it does, I get Wooyoung! So he dances his strangely…… interesting dance for me. HOT SEX. They’re so cute…. Still. I love you more. MAYBE. Maybe around the same with Jaebum and Wooyoung. Right? Right. I love all the other members, just those two the most. Anyways, I love our memories and I hope to make more with you. LOL I feel like we’re married. But technically we are. Yknow, facebook says so. I’ll never leave you wife. UNLESS… yknow. ♥ teehee. Stop with your coca cola addiction. It’s bad for you, and you know it. OMG JAEBUM JUST SANG ON AGAIN AND AGAIN. HOT SEX. Please stay healthy for me. We gotta go to the high school reunion together and laugh at everyone’s face cause you and I are at the top of our game. Right? right. You gotta stop looking so vulnerable. I always gotta save my damsel in distress cause you’re too nice. Baby, you gotta show you’re strong. You show me you’re strong because I’m your best friend, but I want you to show it to the world. Make me proud baby girl ♥ And remember I’m here for you, always. Don’t ever think I’m too busy or too cool for you. Maybe the second part, but never the first part. LOL. Anyways we gotta have a date OUTSIDE soon. Alright? So hurry up with your house project labor thing. I love you ♥ Bye best friend. (080808 forever)

past with pictures

i took out my nikon d40 today. its been a while since i used it. i ordered my charger, but its supposed to come in like 3-6 weeks. its out of stock at the moment. sigh. looking at the pictures i last took, makes me laugh and miss theses days somewhat. this was when i actually took a vacation. where i relaxed and thought about nothing really. well kind of. i thought about my missing charger and my summer assignments, but i didnt have to do it on vacation so it was all good. 

i just want to look at the past…
you can do it with me haha (:

 
i dont actually know where these are…
i dont actually know where these are either… LOL

and now my trip/cruise to alaska begins

HEY LOOK MOUNTAINS! and more and more and more….
 
lucky person has a laptop i had…nothing –0-;;
 
YOU ARE MY DESTINY charging my ipod..dad’s ipod at my cruise room LOL

look its the cruise ship haha i loved that weather… T_T;;

my appetizer tomato….something i dont think it tasted that well… cant really remember
 

nice waterfall thingy…. i want that LOL
 
KING OF FRUITS if only i could carve like that ><;;

chilling at the lounge or something LOL i ate icecream before this i remember ! :O

swans~ made from towels… i bought that towel animal making book…. where did i put that…. >0<;;

look carefully you can see a cruise ship under the sun :O

time to say good bye!

important

daddy sure knows how to make me feel like i’m important (:<

“Jungeun, because of you this family is a mess”

the future

who am i going to be in the future?

i think about this all the time
people always ask tell think about your future
if you act like this now, what will you be later on?
be like this, act like this, do this
people give me an ideal person that they want me to become
sometimes i just want to say i don’t care and just think about what’s going on now
don’t become like this, become like that
i know its for the best
yet this scares me and worries me
what if i don’t become like this
what if i disappoint them
there’s a bunch of what if’s

what am i really going to be in the future?
am i going to be the person they want me to be?
i am going to be happy and joyful with what i will be doing?
will i live my life to the fullest?

why.. why can’t i be the person i want to be
why can’t i be the person they want me to be
it seems so close, yet so far

“tell me why”

ey yo

i have one thing to say right now



------------------JAEBUMMMMMMMMMMM<3

falling in love with him
right teresa? LOL

and so it rains....







again

"Aim High"

"Aim high,
To achieve the best
Doesn't matter where you come from,
What matters is how you use your head
People don't control you,
You control yourself
It might be happiness today, but sadness tomorrow
Don't care what others say, do, or think,
This is all you
Don't care what others see you as,
Just know what you're aiming for
Life is all about will, smarts, and power,
Don't waste what you have
Doesn't matter who you are,
Everyone has a chance of becoming who they want to be as long as you go for it
It's all your choice whether you go bad or good,
Noones going to choose for you
Even if others are going the wrong way,
You go the right way
There is nothing you can't do,
Just go for it
You take care of yourself,
People aren't always going to watch over you
While people destory their body,
I will stay healthy,
I will see you become a doctor, get married, and live a happy life,
I won't die before that
I will be there for you,
You just do your best to become special"
--사랑하는 우리 아빠


I'll never be ashamed of you,
Even if you have no job, you're a hobo, work at a low job,
I'm not ashamed because you're my dad, you're always there for me, And I love you as much as you love me


You & Me
Columbia & NYU !
Let's go for it!
Fighting!

fathers day

wow its fathers day soon.
i hope he likes the present
i hope he likes his present
theyre different
but they mean so much to me
i wish we have a good fathers day (:

the one question i need to ask

what the hell is wrong with you?

아빠

slowly step by step i understand
i understand what you want to achieve
i feel like i can finally see
what youve been telling me all this time
아빠 that one word i definitely treasure
in a sense it feels like im back to when i was a child
when you would put your arm around my shoulders and just squeeze it
as a sign of happiness
you did it today
i felt happy again
not because you took me shopping, or bought over hundreds of dollars worth of clothes
it must have been because of that moment
that moment really gave me reunsurance that you had faith in me
you used to always do that with me
take pictures, hang out, laugh
we did all the father-daughter things there were in this world
then you got sick
then i moved
then i came back
then you got worse
but then now youre better
youre really getting better
at first when i saw her
i really felt akward
i got new family members
it felt weird
but now i see it
i see you laughing with her
more than with anyone else
she saved your life too
i dont know how i can repay her
in a way shes like my new mother
in a way shes like my life saver
without her i dont think you would have been here this happy and healthy
i thank her for that
i dont know
today seeing me happy made you happy made me happy
but i also felt ashamed it was like i was only happy cause i gotten new clothes
i really dont care what people say
i want to be your baby girl again
i want to go back to when i was a child
when i would always be around you
in two words
all this just means
사랑해 아빠

the more i think about it
the more i get pissed off
whats the point in sending me that text?
seriously...

sick

todayyyy

one - almost got lost in a store LOL
two - watching angels & demons made me mad nervous so intense :O
three - walked around for thirty min trying to look for a dress store that we didnt know the name of
four - learned a new word : douche bag its a thing that cleans the female peeing place and that douche is a verb "yo, i am douching / did you douche" LMAO
five - spent 7-8 ish hours at the mall

ahhh what a nice day with teresa (:

repair
can someone ever repair me?
fix me up?
fix and repair the broken pieces of me

sometimes i wish i was a mute
just be silent
just be listening

I've realized its more than one event
it lasts over 16 months
during those months i have to change
its no more mistakes
like the ones I've made before
its my one and only chance
to change

its a change of plans again
I've said it for two years
but now
its not BOOM and i get to that goal
i have to spend 8 months getting ready
then get half way there
take part in an event
then for another 6 months
get prepared for the new me

man that scares me...

change, choice

that one thing could have changed my life
i could have had an important person missing from my first few years of life

im scared
one little choice = new destiny

what if i made a choice, a mistake that blocks me from becoming who i want to be?

"I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far"

i want you to be who you want to be

how could i have ever known?
those days you missed
those days you cried
those days you hurt
those days you wanted

"Again and again and again and again
왜 그런지 몰라. 왜 그런지 몰라."

Be there for you

are you okay?
--the question i want to ask

i wish we could seriously talk like we used to
when you told me your problems
when i would listen
when you asked for my help
when i tried to give advice
and know you actually needed me
when you would call me
and it would show me that i am actually an useful person

i wish i could be there for you guys

미안해

when will everyones problems disappear...?

friend

the more i stand by and watch
the more i see theyre crumbling
theyre slowly deteriorating
the more i see theyre in much more pain than i am

yet i complain
but they dont they have smiles and is there for me
but what can i do in return?
i havent been the friend i should be
i should have been all ears
i should of been more worried about them

im scared
theyre slowly falling
and all im doing is watching

what kind of friend is that?
what have i become?
ive become the kind of friend
who doesnt listen, and just cares about herself
i havent been there for them

the pain, the suffering i dont know anything
and if i do, i didnt do any helping
i just listened and nodded
felt sad but didnt know how to express it
i wanted to give good advice
but none came out
i wanted to be there for them
but i wasnt even with them

i feel like im slowly tearing our friendship apart
i just look at their "bright" side
i dont know exactly what they are going through
yet they know what im going through

ive changed
ive become cold
ive become a bad friend
i hate it
i dont want to be cold
i dont want to be a bad friend
i want to go back
to the time where i was always there for them
or atleast when i fully understood
their hurt, their pain, their problems

i just wish i could be there for them
and give them the help they need
from me --their friend

im sorry

reality is hitting me hard...
four years...
such a significant number
such a scary number
it can go by fast
it can go by slow

in four years
ill probably be in a place
where i dont know anyone
where i'll try to earn as much money as possible
in four years
i wont be here anymore
this house
this town

its not my friends
its not the strangers
its those the closest to me
i wish i couldnt hear
i wish i couldnt see
i wish this wasnt happening
i cant take this no more

who said fighting gets people closer?
the more they fight
the more they drift away
the more they cause pain

at this rate
four years
we'll all be strangers

what is a family?
my family...
is it really one?
as the days go by
the more they destroy each other
theyre more like enemies
fighting against each other to live

their yells and screams are like crashing waves
their actions and feelings are like broken glass
i dont know if this family
this family can be a whole again
its almost impossible
its like putting a glass cup back together
there are those tiny missing pieces
that let the water flow out
its those missing pieces
that wont put us back together again

im scared
money problems
its always there
its never going away
its more like its showing up more
family problems
it only increases
i dont know what to do
i dont think this family can take it anymore
im scared
scared for my life
people say it wont happen
but anything and everything is possible
just like death coming to you
life changes in a blink of an eye

tomorrow is a brand new day
a new day to show my smile to them
like nothing happened

please god...
help me lord
help my family in this time of need
its tearing not only me
but my whole family apart
lord, i dont think i can take this anymore
ive dealt with it for more than half my life
and it just gets worse
please god
my family members are getting weaker
theyre mentally and physically drained
but having me here
its weighing them down even more
please..
help me
help my family
lord

i dont know which side to stay on anymore
one side tells me this
another side tells me that
another side tells me this and that
another side tells me that and this
which side do i have to listen to?
which side...
i feel like im in the middle of a tug-a-war game

tiring & dry

the more i drink

yet the more i thirst

the more i sleep
yet the more i get tired

slowly life is coming tiring and dry

whats wrong with me?

진짜 모르겠어

졸려
피곤해
답답해
맨날 잠자고
맨날 친구도 보고
그럲데 하루하루 지나가면서
조금식 지처가
숨을 쉴 수 없어
누가 날 좀 구해 줘

꿈

i told my grandmother
i have this dream
this dream of being someone or something that my dad doesnt know about
i dont want to tell him
my dad...
he wants me to become successful
he wants me to make alot of money
but becoming that one thing i always wanted
can have two extremely different paths
either i fail... or i succeed in being that person
i asked grandma what if i were to give up becoming a doctor
and go for that dream
she replied go for it with all your might if you really want to
i said what if i fail.. wouldnt daddy be disappointed in me
just like 언니 he put his all in me
and i would be letting him down...
my grandmother said 무슨 자식이 부모님 위해 살아?
i thought about it..
sure im scared of disappointing my dad..
but more so i think im scared of disappointing myself
because i know to achieve that dream and become that kind of person
its almost 1 out of a million
would i be part of that 1 out of a million?
thinking about this i realized
im more scared of myself that anything else...
maybe i should work harder to achieve that goal that dream
i should take my chances
little by little
get a little closer towards that point

무서워
do you know how much i hate thunderstorms?

with that...
theres a thunderstorm going on right now
a thunder just shook my house...

OH MY MOTHER FREAKIN GOSH.
무서워 TT__TT;;

everything

YAY ME ! i changed my blog >;D
its red & black hehe
this song is getting stuck in my head...
idk why... 아이구
well i was bored so i changed my blog around
LOL
its 2pm based XD
i finally finished when i started at 7:45 ish
and right now its 9 something
its because SOME PEOPLE were throwing rocks at my window
so i talked to them for like an hour...
they are weird...

---------------------------------------------------------

my break...
its tiring - cause i sleep at 6 am sometimes LOL
its fun - cause i see my friends and hang out with them
its sad - cause breaks almost over
its boring - cause i have nothing to do

---------------------------------------------------------

why are we getting further away from each other?
why wont you tell me if you had a hard time?
like old times...?
you know im here for you
yet i feel like you dont know anymore
since we're getting more and more distant
i want to return to the days where we were close
the times where you told me everything and anything
the times where i told you everything and anything
those times were the best

iTOUCH (:<

Hehehe right now I'm on my itouch
Mad tired but half to stay awake
I need to get a case for this soon...
Or else its going to get all scratched up D;<
진짜 신기해 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 푸하하하하하하하하하하 (:<. >:D
It's like my mini computer now hehe
The one thing I hate is that I have to download all the songs I want
I hate downloading
Oh well I have to deal with it right? Right?
Well imma go play some games on this now :)
BYEEEEEE(:<

꽃남

와ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ
i finished watching 꽃보다 남자
im happy it ended in a good way
but im sad cause now i have nothing anticipated for on mondays and tuesday
what bummer
아이 정말
hopefully ill have another reason to like mondays and tuesdays once again
(: until that reason comes, im going to be really bored D:

granted

i take everything for granted
friends, family, technology, food, water, everything
i think its all of these are just there and its doesnt make a difference
but when i loose them i freak
i need to stop taking things for granted
see what life has to offer
see what everyone or everything has to offer
slowly im getting older
and i should notices these things more
from now on i wont take all of these for granted
ill appreciate them (:

SHATT

HOLY SHAT
for freaking hour the east(?) side of palpark had no electricity
O_O;;
so freaky
that means now i have to do my history hw...
SIGHHHH

D:

아 진짜 D:
so lonely these days
everyone has a 짝꿍 except for me
아이구
and its foggy outside
even more depressing
i want a 짝꿍 too LOL
in the meanwhile i'll listen to
2am's 친구의 고백 (:

today

today was a good day

1. i walked from school to wax salon for hmart to cut his hair
2. we waited at red mango
3. we went to 뉴또또와 and ate 라볶이, 군만두, & 돈까스 :]
4. we walked to teresas house
5. watch part of saw V O_O;; mad freakyy
6. was falling asleep
7. went home
8. called my daddy :)
9. got 고구마깡 from him
10. daddy bought sushi and gave me 100 for april allowance :D :O
11. ate at his house
12. came back home :D

what a good day (:<
the only bad thing was i was mad tired throughout the day TT_TT;;

google

im a master at google-ing
i should get a certificate :D

친구의 고백

nice song by 2am :]

꽤 오래됐어

내 맘이 조금씩 변하기 시작한지,

혼자서 괴로워한지.

언제부턴가 네가 올때마다

너를 울리는 남자가 너무나 미웠어

차라리 내가 널 지키는게

나을지도 모른 생각이...

이제는 내가 널 안아주고

사랑해주고 싶단 생각이 들었어

Baby 이제는 내게 와

And be my lady

너무나 오래동안 지켜봤어

말 없이 서서

안타까운 가슴을 숨기며

친구로, 친구로 지내야 한다는 이유로

목까지 차올랐던 그 고백을 참아야했어..

하지만 이제는 고백할게,

너를 사랑해...

내 손을 잡고 나밖에 없다며

나같은 친구를 둔게,

정말 큰 축복이라며

변치 말자고 말을 할때마다,

조금씩 자라나는 내 사랑을 눌렀어

차라리 내가 널 지키는게

나을지도 모른다는 생각이

자꾸만 들었지만 참았어

너를 잃어버릴까 두려워, 하지만...

Baby (Baby) 이제는 내게 와 (내게 와)

And be my lady (lady)

너무나 오래동안 지켜봤어

말 없이 서서

안타까운 가슴을 숨기며 (No)

친구로(Your friend), 친구로 지내야 한다는 이유로 (I Know),

목까지 차올랐던(차올랐던 그말)

그 고백을 (고백을) 참아야했어 (말할 수 없었어)

하지만 이제는 고백할게,

너를 사랑해...

i want be 4차원 :D

i want a shoulder to cry on
no i need a should to cry on
without any reason
just cry

다 해결했어 :]
미안해 ><;;

angel

“Dear Angel ever at my side,
how lovely you must be---
To leave your home in heaven,
to guard a child like me.
When I'm far away from home,
or maybe hard at play--
I know you will protect me,
from harm along the way.
Your beautiful and shining face,
I see not, though you're near.
The sweetness of your lovely voice,
I cannot really hear.
When I pray, you're praying too,
Your prayer is just for me.
But ,when I sleep you never do,
You're watching over me.”

i need a shoulder

i need a shoulder to cry on

우리 언니

Dear 언니,

Wow 언니... today's your twenty-third birthday. though we didn't celebrate your birthday, i hope today was a bright day. I'm sorry i don't have anything for you. i don't think words could express all my love and gratitude towards you.언니 we've through hard times, right? and you've always been there for me. thank you. you've always been a mother that i never really had. you had so much on your hands, and yet, you treated me like a sister and daughter through all that. I don' t know what i would be without you. though we don't talk much, i love you. i'm sorry for hurting you at times. I'm sorry for everything. i hope had a wonderful birthday. it's the day you were born. the day you came to earth and started to receive love from everyone. i know you won't read this. but i want to dedicate this song to you. this song is about moms, but we never really had one. But you cared for me like you were my mom. so here. Dear Mom by 소녀시대

오늘은 왠지 힘들고 지쳐
베개를 끌어안은 채 혼자 방안에 남아

전화길 만지작거리는 나의 마음이
왠지 오늘따라 외로운거죠

갑자기 울린 전화에 놀라
밥 먹었는지 걱정하는 엄마 목소리가

귀찮게 들렸던 그 말이 오늘은 다른걸
잊고 있었던 약속들이 떠올라요

마음이 예쁜 사람이 될게요
남을 먼저 생각하는 사람 될게요


엄마의 사랑의 바램들을 지켜갈게요
나와 꿈을 함께 나누던 내 머릴 빗겨주던 엄마가 생각나

때론 잘못된 선택들로 아파했지만
아무 말 없이 뒤에서 지켜봐 주셨죠
서툴고 어린 아이지만 이젠 알 것 같아요
엄마의 조용한

마음이 예쁜 사람이 될게요
남을 먼저 생각하는 사람 될게요

엄마의 사랑의 바램들을 지켜갈게요
나와 꿈을 함께 나누던 내 머리를 빗겨주던 엄마가 생각나


어떡하죠 아직 작은 내 맘이

엄마의 손을 놓으면 혼자 잘할 수 있을지

아직 부족한 것 같아 난 두려운 걸요
지혜로운 엄마의 딸 될게요 나에게 용기를 줘요
어딜가도 자랑스런 딸이 될게요

엄마의 사랑의 바램들을 지켜갈게요
한없이 보여준 사랑만큼 따스한 맘을 가질게요
수줍어 자주 표현 못했죠

엄마 정말로 사랑해요

언니 영원히 사랑해

언니의 동생,
정은

"sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" --lies

hearing all theses things
coming from my family really makes me feel depressed
hearing you bitch, homeless, hobo, and things
why are you living here?
why dont you get out of this house?
why dont you live with your dad?
go somewhere that you fit with
all the remarks and more
makes me cry all the time
yet i hear it atleast once a week
and all i can do is swallow those words
and go to school the next day like nothing happened
or even the next morning i wake up and act like it just didnt happen
tears flow down. no matter how hard i try to stop, they just flow. they blur my vision.
yet no one knows this fact. that i cry. i really cry almost everyday because of those words
even there are times where my voice would get scratchy from crying.
i really dont want this.
i know everyone gets insulted
but for me, this hurts the most than anything.
whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is definitely wrong.
words hurt. they really do.

총 맞은 것처럼

총 맞은 것처럼 정말 가슴이 너무 아파
i dont know what it is...
maybe its just my fault
i feel i'm getting so far away from my friends and family
losing my connection with them
its just not the same anymore
the more i get depressed
i hate this
but all i have to do is smile
all i have to do is be happier
forget all my doubts
but i cant
when i see people i care about
all i see is our strings getting detached
and all the bad things i done or said to them
i feel more apologetic
i feel more outcasted
i want to just scream
i want to just cry
and forget everthing
but why is this so hard...?

aish

smile. laugh. be happy.

gosh freakin computer is bothering me so much... -_-;;
i cant watch any videos on it cause it wont load
cause it wont connect to my internet wireless thing
but instead it connects to linksys or something like that
and it has a freakin virus or something
its not like i can fix it... i have no money D:
i have the worst luck with technology
no joke -0-;;

i sound like a first grader complaining
but oh well
the computers pissing me off
AISH and i wanted to watch somethings D:<
when my step sister comes imma use her computer LOL
>:D good idea jen :] LMAO

i really want a new laptop as my birthday present
but i highly doubt im going to get one
i didnt even get my ipod back from my dad
now im wanting a ipod touch cause i have no ipod at all
sigh...
im too greedy -_-;;

i'll just wish those things
since i wont be able to get these things
i rather just wish for it
then ask my family for it
they dont have to spend crap load of money for me

UPDATE

ODDDDDDDDD!
im like singing gee with teresa right now LOL
i dont think imma be able to sleep today
i ate so much sugar today... no joke D:
im sleeping over teresa's house
cause we have alot of shows to watch XD
shes camwhoring right now while i write this
only if my wife could sleep over one day
i would love that

i spent my valentines day
walking for OD amount of time D;<
i walked like five pal parks
seriously

well imma go watch 떴다 그녀!
byeeeeee :]

tired

im so tired mentally and physically
no matter how many times i rest or sleep
nothing changes...
someone... help me

모르겠어

everyday just feels like a habit,
i wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, and go to sleep.
nothing really excites me for real.
nothing really makes me happy.
nothing really makes me feel better.
it does feel any better the next day.
its just something i do. something that just happens.
when am i going to have a life where i can anticipate on the next day?
나는 진짜 모르겠어.
i just feel more distance towards everyone.
like im in my own little world. trapped. with no exit.
no matter how many times i yell for help, there's no answer.
someone get me out of this place. someone rescue me.
get me out of this day to day "habit"
i dont want to feel numb anymore.
도와줘. 난 여기서 나갈 방법을 모르겠어.

update

update on my life

1. my eye is swollen

ughhhhhh...
its even more swollen than when it was swollen yesterday
and it hurts...
sigh...

2. i got acupuncture

OH GEE
that hurt ALOT
and i have to get that like every other saturday now
plus i have to sit straight... all the time

3. i cut my bangs

major disaster
i have to wait and grow out my bangs
so i can cut it correctly

brownies

i finished making brownies ten minutes ago
so tired.
i made 44 brownies...
12 failed.
30 is going to go to the bake sale.
and i have 12 extra i made for just eating LOL
i'm tired. i keep telling myself i need another person to help,
but everytime i still work alone...
sigh...
anyways im tired so imma go to sleep

person

what kind of person gives someone an item, like a sweater, and demand it back couple months later saying that the other person stole it?











i know someone like that...

uncle

uncle, how are you? i hope you're fine. 보고싶어요. you left four years ago, but it still feels like yesterday. uncle, the more i get older, the more i wish i had more memories of you. i could tell that you were a smart and great person. you were daring and outgoing. i still remember the first time i saw when i came back from california. you just got out of your blue cadillac with a lollipop in your mouth. i looked out the window and saw you coming up to our door. i remember that last summer i had with you. we went to the statue of liberty with our family from california. everyone didn't think you would leave couple months later. your one and only sister, and two brothers came. what a rare event that was. uncle, i really don't know if grandma's doing better. i really hope she is. but losing you was a big shock to her. i'm sorry i didn't visit you today. when i came home from school, everyone left to see you. i miss you. i really do. i wanna tell you that your brother's getting better, that i'm getting good grades and i'm still listening to the advice you told me, that my sister always say that the person who told her about hiphop, rap, and r&b was you, that your son and daughter are growing up, and your brother is doing alot so that your children don't miss out on not having a father. i really wish you were here to see all this. but i bet you're watching from heaven. uncle, watch over everyone okay? cause everyone still loves and misses you. 작은 아빠 사랑해... 보고싶어... 영원히 ♥

RIP
04.30.1970 - 02.02.2005

친구야 고마워

it doesnt matter about how many friends you have.
it doesnt matter about how popular you are.

for me, all it matters is how close you can keep your friends.
for me, its my two friends that i can tell everything to.



부인,
thanks for everything. ever since september 27, 2007, you've been such a great friend. 고마워. really. its already january 31, 2009 and we're still close friends. i know almost everything about you. and i'm really grateful for that because it means you opened up to me. i'm grateful that you invited me to places which you wouldn't go with anyone else unless its your 남친 but i've been to more places with you than him. so thats all good. if you think that i dont consider you close, or that i dont talk to you, dont worry cause you're the closest friend i got. and i won't let that go.
est. 070927 1 year 4 months 4 days LMAO


여친,
woman that i can talk to about school and life. thank you. 고마워 to you too. my brainiac right here. ive know you for so long, but we've gotten closer eversince two years ago. thank you. now we can talk on the phone, go to your church, or hang out. i dont even feel 어색해 with you. :] i hope we can become closer, and closer. you stress alot, and i don't know if i can help you cheer you up. but when i'm stressed, you cheer me up. hopefully i can get better at cheering people up :]
est. LONG LONG AGO. dinosaur buddy XD


thank you, you two. you guys make me feel better that you're always there for me. hopefully i can do the same. thank you for everything. 진짜고마워.

midterms are over >:D

와ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ~
MIDTERMS ARE OVER >:D

so far i got:

99% - a
93% - f
91% - f2
90% - gym LOL
80% - c
79% - b
73% - h
__% - e <-- totally failed this one for sure

im pretty disappointed in myself except for a, f, & c because i did study at all...
chemistry - i knew i was getting a low grade so yeah.... -_-;;
but for h and b... wow... i studied so hard for h and i get the lowest grade for that...
ah shizzzzz -_-;;
next time hopefully i'll do better....

midterms

midterms...
sigh...
two more to go...
망했어
FAILURE -_______-;;

생일 축하합니다

♬생일 축하합니다~♬
♬생일 축하합니다~♬
♬생일 축하합니다 사랑하는 할머니 & 할아버지~♬
♬생일 축하합니다~♬

i saw my wife at 뉴 또또와 :O
shocking
감짝 놀랐어

미안해

oh gee
its wasnt supposed to be like this
i didnt mean to just cancel the plans and then expect you follow the plans
i really didnt think
i was so stupid
SH.T F.CK
youre a close person to me and yet i did this
i regret it
and im sorry
really. 미안해
i have nothing else to say
but that im sorry...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
i saw someone cry
it hurt me that the person cried
yet i couldnt do anything
all i did was make that person feel worse
to you im sorry
미안해



to both people
im sorry.
미안해 정말 미안해

BREAKFAST TIMEEEEE

imma go eat breakfast with eunice @ 5 later
then walk to school
i'll update this later :D

STRONG BABY :)

새해 많이 받으세요~
HAPPY NEW YEAR :D

FOR MY WIFE :)

seungri is now promoting his song from big bangs album
SOOOO theres a MV :O

ohhhhhhhh and theres a picture that makes you go :O O_O

yupp thats seungri eunice LOL :O its :O :O :O :O when did he get abbs?!








FOR TOE :)

TOPs going to release a solo album this year :D :O :)