총 맞은 것처럼

총 맞은 것처럼 정말 가슴이 너무 아파
i dont know what it is...
maybe its just my fault
i feel i'm getting so far away from my friends and family
losing my connection with them
its just not the same anymore
the more i get depressed
i hate this
but all i have to do is smile
all i have to do is be happier
forget all my doubts
but i cant
when i see people i care about
all i see is our strings getting detached
and all the bad things i done or said to them
i feel more apologetic
i feel more outcasted
i want to just scream
i want to just cry
and forget everthing
but why is this so hard...?