081225

christmas wasnt what i expected to be
i hoped it was the time my family gathers and exchange gifts
the time where you get to see each and everyones smile
but it wasnt
there were no smiles that i saw
i saw christmas as any other day
it just had a special name
i disappoint everyone again no matter what i do
sure i saw my family
but it wasnt for long
i didnt even see my dad today
my grandmother and sister went to church
my grandfather and i were just home

i drank two cups of coffee and one cup of chocolate
waiting for this day to pass
it doesnt relax me though
i pictured this christmas to be more heartwarming
but i guess i was expecting to much
i guess part of it is my fault
i must have not been nice, caring, or loving this year
cant i see a normal christmas again?
but then again with this family
what is a normal christmas?

im putting all my hope for a good new year's day atleast
please let that day be good...